Quibbler Questions
by glittercrumbs321
Summary: The Weasley's most bizarre interview yet


**Just a little idea I've been playing around with... feedback appreciated! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Obviously.**

The Weasley Grandchildren interview, The Quibbler

What is the most towel related incident in your life?

Erm Luna? Are you sure that's the right question? ~Victoire

Yes ~ Luna

But- that's- well ~ Victoire

It's mental ~ James

James! Don't worry aunty Luna, I think it's a great question ~ Lily

Come on then get started, some of us have places to be, people to see ~ Dominique

I need time to think, its not the sort of thing I prepared to answer ~ Albus

Victoire? I can think of one… ~Teddy

Shut it Ted ~ Victoire

But it fits the question, doesn't it? ~Ted

Ted! Have you paid Luna specifically to get me into this situation? ~ Victoire

Lovers tiff ~ James

Shut it James! ~ Teddy and Victoire

Merlin's beard will someone just get on with it? ~Dominique

Fine then! Ted, when this is over I'm going- ~ Victoire

Just tell the story! ~Lily

Oh Merlin. I was thirteen years old. I'd just gotten out of the shower, and I had just used this really nice strawberry showergel my mum got me. I don't know why I remember that but I do. I was wrapped in this huge fluffy towel, and I unlocked the door, and as I unlocked it and walked onto the landing, I gathered my wet hair up into a pony tail, so my towel was only held up by a little twist in the material. Next thing I know, my dad and uncle harry are racing up the stairs shouting things like 'get it!' or 'kill the little buggers!' I t took me a few seconds to realise they were chasing some doxies. I think it was my dad who shot the fateful spell. He just cast an imobulus into the crowd of doxies, but it missed and hit me. They'd disappeared around the corner, leaving me frozen, my mouth partly open, and my hands holding my hair firmly in place. I must have been there for a bout five minutes when I felt the towel start to slip. It was just a little at first, and then a bit more, and eventually the twist just unravelled completely, and it fell off. I was _mortified_. I was desperately trying to undo the spell, or mind scream down to my mum, when I heard

'Bonjour Teddy, are you 'ere for Victoire? She eez just upstairs, go on up'

NO SHE ISNT! SHE ISN'T UPSTAIRS! SHE'S AWAY! FAR, FAR AWAY!

I was screaming in my head, and the towel was in a heap around my ankles and I could hear teddy stomping up the stairs, and then he turned the corner… it was the most humiliating day of my life ~ Victoire

Well, I mean… I had just turned fifteen! She was part veela! You all would have stared too! I don't know why she was so bothered. I was quite pleased really. None of my friends had ever seen a girl naked before ~ Teddy

You were fifteen and you'd never seen a girl naked before? Merlin Teddy, you are so weird ~ James

Yeah well, not all of us are so disgusting we leave two-way mirrors 'accidentally' in the girls bathroom. Some of us have respect for women ~ Teddy

Yeah, and some of us are total- ~ James

That's enough James! This is the weirdest question anyone has ever asked me. and I've been asked some weird questions. Trust me. probably when I was about three, aunty Astoria bought me a little towel with a hood, only the hood was like a ducks face. And so I spent the whole Christmas holiday pretending to be a duck. And I wore it to Diagon alley, and I insisted on going into the menagerie to talk to the ducks in there ~ Roxanne

We stayed with our Aunt Gabrielle once, and she had this awesome charm book, and it had little buttons or whatever in it, and you pressed it to something and whatever it was would turn to chocolate for example. And it wasn't your magic, it was the magic in the button so we didn't get in trouble, like uncle Georges toys. Only this one button, it made things levitate, and we used it on _everything, _the kitchen table, the beds, the cutlery, and all these towels, and then we floated around the garden on these towels, and Louis floated into a tree, and all these bowtruckles started attacking him

~ Dominique

I've got a scar from that actually, look, on my arm. See it? Never annoy a bowtruckle, they've got these really long fingers… ~ Louis

When me and Fred were kids, we melted down a puking pastille with my dad's wand when he wasn't looking, and put it in Al's bottle. It was hilarious, mum and dad were going nuts! Al was vomiting all over the place! ~ James

Great story James, but what does that have to do with towels? ~ Albus

Errr, how do you think they cleaned up your vomit? Besides, everyone knows babies have those burping cloths. You had a burping blanket! ~ James

It was pretty funny. Do you remember that time when we stole all the towels from the laundry room at Hogwarts, and dyed them all bright pink? ~ Fred

See James, that would have been a more towel related story! Instead of humiliating me in public…. I think the only towel related incident in my life, aside from the story James told you, yes thankyou James we don't need to see a re-enactment…

Thankyou. Anyway the only towel related incident would have to be when me and Rosie were upset that James and Fred and Molly had gone to Hogwarts without us, and we couldn't wait until next year, and Lily and Hugo were playing with Lucy, and Roxy and Dom had gone home, so we made our own 'Hogwarts' which was basically a bunch of towels draped over the table, to make a den ~ Albus

A towel related incident? Seriously? I knew you were… unique Luna but this just takes the- Lucy

Lucy, language! ~Molly

I was going to say biscuit! ~ Lucy

Well then, that's alright. But its my turn anyway so just wait politely ~ Molly

Yes _Mother ~_Lucy

I think, in my third year, or maybe my fourth year, I bought my father a musical towel, because it sang when it was wet. And I thought it would brighten up his bath times, because he was going through a phase where he would rather be at work, than in the shower, and it didn't smell great. But it just got really, really annoying. You try listening to a stripy orange and green towel singing ballads, when the washing line is right outside your window ~ Molly

So I blew it up. ~ Lucy

I guess my towel story is the same as Al's. We've made loads of dens from blankets and towels and things. Oh no, I've got a better one! When we went to muggle school, (because we all went until we started showing accidental magic and it was too risky) they had tissue paper to dry your hands in the toilets. One day, I had been sick, and I had to sit in the hall until mum could come and pick me up, and the nearest bathroom was a teachers, and I was told that if I needed to be sick, to just go in there. I was kind of nosy, so I went in anyway and to my five-year-old brain, it was amazing! They had locks on the doors, and mirrors over the sinks, and best of all a box on the wall, that you pulled little flannel towels out of, instead of the tissue paper. The teacher walked in to find me stood in the middle of the room, cackling manically with my hands in the air, whilst towels flew out of the machine faster than bullets. She was obliviated, and I never went back to school… ~ Rose

That's why you got pulled out? I knew you'd done something like that! Mum only ever said you were too grown up for school now but I knew it! I knew it! Perfect Rosie my ar- ~Hugo

Hugo! Get on with the question! ~ Rose

Erm… there was a really big, and I mean REALLY REALLY BIG spider that was on the wall by my bed, and dad wouldn't go near it, and neither would me or Rose, and mum was out, so I had to sleep on the table in the kitchen, and to make it comfy, dad piled loads of towels up and I made a sort of nest ~ Hugo

Why didn't you just sleep on the sofa? ~ Dominique

It was a time of crisis! Logical thinking wasn't high on the priorities list! ~ Hugo

Before I came to Hogwarts, and nicked James' broomstick- ~ Lily

That was you?! ~ James

Who else could it be? ~ Rose

But I blamed Peeves for years! ~ James

It was funny watching you look. You never checked my trunk though, did you? Stupid boy. Anyway, before I stole his broomstick, when they were all at Hogwart's without me, I used to get really bored at night. I've never needed much sleep, and previously, there had always been someone, somewhere awake, so I would just floo about until someone would play with me. With the only people around being Hugo, and Lucy, I was faced with a perpetual snorer, and sneaking past uncle Percy. So instead, I would tie all my towels and blankets together, and sneak out the window, because mum had charm locked the front door after James tried to run away to Romania. So yeah, I used towels as my escape route, tying one end of the rope to the bed post, and dangling the other out the window ~ Lily

Lily, do you have any idea how dangerous that was? What if you'd been kidnapped? ~Molly

I never went very far, just used toplay on the swings in the park and stuff ~ Lily

Lily! Your dads going to go mental when he finds out ~Molly

Oh shut up Mol. Like you never did anything stupid when you were a kid. Besides he'll never find out ~ lily

I'm going to tell him. You can't get away with doing dangerous things for _fun _Lil- argh! ~Molly

Get her Lil! ~Lucy

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! ~James

Transcript ends here


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